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About Deviant Artist Premium Member Susan HawkinsFemale/Germany Group :iconkiwiana-club: Kiwiana-Club
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Repeating Dreams ( Update )

Fri Jan 23, 2015, 8:16 AM
Dolphy's Journal

If you have a question then please read this because it may already have the answer you`re looking for. ^^…


Update :

Thank you for the comments so far! I'll reply here because several people asked the same questions or brought up similar explanations.
No, I don't have a particular project or task that's stressing me out, just the usual commission work. Sometimes I am stressed, of course, but I know I can do it and calm myself down because everything goes according to schedule.
I've never been an A student, I had trouble keeping all that information in mind and had to study a lot for exams to get good grades, that's why I mentioned my graduation. I worked as hard as I could and got a better grade then I ever expected so the dreams can't mean I regret not having a new chance at school or anything like that.
Even though I tried hard, sometimes ( or often, depending on the subject ) I got not-so-good grades and my parents acted like I had done it on purpose or was too lazy and I hated to disappoint them, especially when I HAD studied and given the best I could. Guess it's still the same now, I get easily frustrated when people act as if I'm a failure for not being perfect or doing things differently, no matter if it's real life or online. I crave for recognition too much, it seems...
I didn't like school. I had friends but was always "different" because I kept loving animated movies and drawing even after everyone starting swooning about boybands and going to parties, etc.
I disliked getting up at 6am but I was always one of the first people to arrive at school ( my father worked near it so I drove with him every morning ) and I liked it because I had time for drawing, homework ( ahem ) or chatting with my friends who also arrived early.
I absolutely HATED exams, presentations, pretty much everything that involved getting a grade, getting judged or having to speak in front of class.
It can't be anything that happened lately because I graduated 11 years ago ( heck, i'm old ) and can't count anymore how often I had such school dreams.
When going to bed I try to think about positive things, make up stories in my mind until I fall asleep. But even when I feel optimistic and relaxed I suddenly get dreams like those or even worse things that totally freak me out on a very regular basis.


I keep having the same / similar dreams over and over again for years and it's driving me nuts. Last night again, two of them.

I'm back at school. There are a few variations.

1. Suddenly realizing there'll be an important exam very soon and I haven't studied for it yet and suddenly the day comes and I still am completely unprepared and screw it up. Usually very detailed, I can see questions on the paper, have no idea what to write, time runs by, I feel desperate, etc.
2. A teacher asks me for my homework / asks me a question and I haven't done it / don't know what to reply and get scolded.
3. At my current age I'm back at school and struggle for better grades ( because family told me to do that since they weren't happy with my past grades ) but fail miserably, and after months I suddenly realize "WTF am I doing here, I DID graduate already and gave my best!" ( actually got the best graduation of the whole family ) and leave school again.
4. It's morning and I pack my stuff for school, my father is already standing in the door telling me to hurry and I suddenly notice there are still books missing so I start looking for them and it'l like I do everything in slow motion while being stressed like hell because I fear I`ll be too late ( and usally am ).

Those dreams are very vivid and realistic and each time I had them I wake up totally stressed and tired. Anyone have an idea what they mean? :/


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***ART-TRADES / REQUESTS*** : NO ( so please stop asking me! )

.: Read the comments :. Stamp by Beti-Kot Requests are Closed by savagebinn if you hate my art stamp by TribalTripleN
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Jokerboy18 Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2015
Heya! I was just wondering if you were taking requests? You're artwork is so amazing and I was wanting a furry picture done for me. It seemed sensible to have someone as good as you do it. If you need to get in contact with me you can message me on kik at Joker_Rules16 or on my skype which is Jokerboy1612
DolphyDolphiana Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2015
Sorry, but I don't take requests.
Jokerboy18 Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2015
It's ok :) I'm sorry for asking, really.
Aileea Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2015
Ein frohes neues Jahr wünsche ich dir! :)
Tut mir Leid, dass ich dich schon wieder mit dem Horsetastic-Comic nerve, aber gibt es ihn wirklich noch? Auf der White Oak Stables-Seite gab es seit ca. einem halben Jahr kein Comic-Update mehr, und der Link führt jetzt zu einer Fehlermeldung...
DolphyDolphiana Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2015
Das Comic hat grade sozusagen Pause, weil die Betreiberin der Website vor ein paar Monaten umgezogen ist und mehrere andere Projekte hat, also konnte sie seit ein paar Monaten aus finanziellen Gründen keine neuen Comics ordern. Es wird sie aber demnächst wieder geben. ;)
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